Does God feel like an unappreciated Mother

All day long I have been in a Mommy funk, constantly picking up toys, shoes, rice from lunch that didn't make it in the mouths of the munchkins trying desperately to be independent and feed themselves. Laundry, cooking, cleaning dishes, doing crafts with the kids so they can have happy memories of Mommy time, all the while every act has been scrutinized and criticized by those very ones that are being served, leaving the Mommy feeling "why bother" all they do is complain. As I sat sand sulked I thought about every other mother who does and does and does for those she loves and yet is told "it's not good enough" you cook rice, they want fried rice, you cook bacon, they want biscuits, you pour milk, they want juice. Is anything I do ever going to be good enough!! As the frustration mounted I felt the gentle tap on the shoulder and could almost hear, "I wonder if that is how God feels" I was reminded that He does so much for us, just to take care of us because he loves us. Yet how often do we complain about every little thing. "I have to cook tonight" instead of " Thank you God I have a home with electricity, thank you I have food to cook my family, thank you God that I have a family to cook for, thank you I have the opportunity to teach them about being thankful. Or maybe it's , "these kids are driving me nuts, why don't they listen? can't I ever have any time to myself? Instead of "thank you God for the chance to train my children, to be with them and that they are in my life. Or here is a good one that I believe everyone complains about, house chores or the job...Instead how about "thank you God I have a home and I am not on the street, thank you I have a job so I can provide for my family. Thank you God for.....how can you finish that sentence?I have so much to be thankful for. I never want God, who does so much for me, to ever fell like I think what he does isn't good enough. So I am going to try every time one of my kids (or anyone else!) complains or criticizes whatever I am doing that I am going to be thankful for the reminder that I need to be more grateful to the one who takes care of me.

The real me - who is that

Recently I was talking to some friends who are having a difficult time at work. Dealing with those people who push your buttons, drive you nuts and make you want to behave like someone who has never heard the name Jesus. So I went on a mission to find them scripture about how to deal with these wonderful challenges ( are you picking up on the sarcasm?) I was amazed when I began to put in a notebook all the scriptures there are instructing believers on how to handle people that are less than Christlike.  I dont think there is a notebook big enough. Sometimes God gently reminds me of things and then sometimes he slaps me in the back of the head and says, you've heard this before, how many times do I have to keep repeating myself.  The latter is what I got this time.  My prayer of thankfulness is that God always treat me with love, even if I dont treat others with love. My prayer request is that the Holy Spirit will take what I have been reminded of (to treat my enemies with forgiveness, compassion, to do good to them and to Love them) and supernaturally transform me to behave this way, so that my "natural reactions" to be like that of Christ. Right now often my natural reaction is not that of Christ, then he reminds me how to behave, then I change my attitude and my behavior.  I know in my head how I am suppose to behave and deeply desire that my instincts will follow.

At rest in His presence

So we say we love God, we love his people, we want to obey Him...but what about when he brings you to a place that is so uncomfortable, so difficult, so frustrating and tells you exactly how to deal with it? The "how to deal with it" is just as frustrating, almost as difficult and definitely as uncomfortable, now what? He doesn't leave us there, but reveals himself in ways I could never dream of. This is why I love the pleasure we present day Christians have of being able to own a Bible, the answer is always in there. So many times this past week a situation (honestly...people) have done something or said something that has brought me to a place of unrest, annoyance and down right anger. And in everyone of those situations God has slapped me in the back of the head with scripture that is so appropriate in dealing with each individual situation. Reaffirming to me that he is real, he is supernatural and he cares about little ole me. So thank you Lord for remembering me, thank you for talking to me, screaming at me, nagging me and loving me even when I am unlovable. Thank you for talking to me, guiding me and not giving up on me.
1 John 3:18-20
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

My heart is at rest in His presence. I love being his.

Unanswered prayers

Do you remember that song Garth Brooks did back in the day "Unanswered Prayers" ? It was about him running into an old flame while with his wife and he realized that had God answered his prayer of restoring that old relationship he never would have the wonderful wife he has now.  I was reminded of an unanswered prayer the other night while watching TV.  Back many moons ago when my husband and I were just dreamers of what we would be, he dreamed of making it big in the music business. He had all the talent he needed to take him anywhere he wanted to go. We would dream of one day being at the Grammy's hearing his name called.  I was so sure it would happen that when I picked out my senior high prom dress I said " I am going to wear this dress when my honey receives his first Grammy."

As he and I watched the 51st Grammy Awards together Sunday night I sat holding back tears being so thankful for the unanswered prayers, the unfulfilled dream of "making it big" in the music industry . I wondered what our lives would be like if we were living in California or NYC, trying to raise our girls in that life.  I wondered how many people we would be reaching for Christ if we had gone down that path.   I sat thinking about how just that morning my husband stood on a much more impressive stage leading people in an amazing worship to their God, some for the very first time.  I sat overwhelmed with emotion at what a strong man of God I am married to and so grateful for the life he leads, the integrity he has and the eternal impact he has on peoples lives because of the path he chose to follow.  Could he have "made it big"? I have no doubt, he has more talent in his pinky then most people do in their entire body.  But he chose to follow where God led him and because of that our children (and the children of many other families,) will live a life as fully devoted followers of Christ. An abundant life full of peace, security, hope and faith (not at all what we witnessed as we watched the Grammy's) The path wasn't always fun, some days miserable, but God has always held his hand leading him along the way. And he has always trusted God's guiding hand, knowing that God's plans for him(and his family) are much more fulfilling than anything he can dream up.  Thank you God for the man you put in my life, the father you gave my girls, the gifts you have given him and the choices he has made on how to use them.  

My word for the year

So every year I like to get something fresh from God that motivates me throughout the entire year.  I love to get a word from scripture that I focus on for the year.  It is what drives me to do what I believe God wants me to have tunnel vision on throughout the year. My pastor calls that vision for the year, pretty cool.  So God gave me my focus (vision) for the year. Ephesians 1:15-23 is what will drive me this year (you thought I was going to write it out for you huh?!) Look it up for yourself.  So what I got from it was that God wants me to be praying for, guiding and building up people that have come to know the Lord and need guidance to become closer to the Lord, to have wisdom and revelation and to grow in their relationship with God.  To lead them through the process of becoming who God made them to be.  The word I kept hearing was leadership, developing leadership in them.  That God wants me to go above and beyond what I have ever done before to develop people for Him.  I have spent a few days just marinating in that, praying about it and reading it in Ephesians over and over again. Last night I journaled and asked God to show me specific people.  During all of this I have been thinking, ok, that's awesome God and I am so excited about that, but I believe that  in the church our vision comes from the top and that I should support the vision of my leaders and my pastor. Would God give me a vision for what he wants me to do that isn't the same as what my leaders have for me? Here comes the cool part. I was unable to make one of my favorite meetings this month, all staff at Seacoast. So thanks to technology I was able to watch what Pastor Greg had to say at all staff and the vision he has for us as a church this year. The challenge he had for us. Ya ready (have you figured out what it was yet???) Yep, Raising up leaders! How cool is God!  Many things he said were word for word what God was prompting me to do. AND it answered some of my questions and prayers, how do I do this God.   He brought up some amazing leaders to give us some specifics of how we can develop leaders and motivated up with steps to take.  I will never stop being amazed at how real our God is, how he knows each one of us, where we are and exactly what we need.  Again, he leaves me in awe of how he loves each one of us and takes care of us!